Appeteasers Edition 1: Dark Chocolate Oddities

Good Evening Crusaders,

I know I already left you stuffed the other day with all the delicious items found at the Seattle Food Expo. At least I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. But I’m back and I’ve traveled into a strange and wonderful land I just had to share with you. This segment is something new, I call it my appeteasers section. It’s may not be enough food to fill you up but instead it’s more about something to tantalize your taste buds and leave you hungry for more. It’s where I get to share with you bite size morsels that merit special attention for one reason or another. Tonight for the first edition I thought I’d start you off with a bang. To keep you reading know this, I have included pictures again this time.

Let’s call this an excursion into the darker side of dark chocolate. I know I said before that I’m not a sweets person but when I found these items I just couldn’t resist the temptation. I should back up and clue you in on something you may not have been privy to prior to this entry. I am not only just a foodie who eats fancy food, or normal food even for that matter. I am, at least I’d like to think, somewhat of a connoisseur of strange, weird, and downright bizarre foods. The stranger it is, the more likely I am to want to try it. I pride myself on my adventurous spirit and think food is one of the greatest ways we can express ourselves so the more inventive the food the more I’m drawn to it. With that in mind I would like to introduce you to 3 different items that I just couldn’t say no to.

First and foremost let me introduce you to something that may not be that new to some of you but the intensity is. I present to you a ghost chili salted caramel covered in dark chocolate from Theo Chocolates.

Now I don’t know if you’re familiar with adding heat to chocolate, but this isn’t entirely a new concept to your humble leader. My introduction to this concept came when, entering a grocery store I happened upon a sample lady offering a new hot salsa and with it she had pieces of Hershey’s chocolate bar and cream cheese. I was stunned, I love hot salsa but what was she doing ruining it with chocolate and cheese. I could almost buy the cream cheese, as it would just make it creamy, but the chocolate seemed like such a bad idea. I gave her the benefit of the doubt though and tried it. It was like a little explosion went off in my mouth, the heat from the salsa sizzled and BOOM brought me way way up and then I tasted the sweetness of the chocolate which was like a little parachute to allow me glide slowly back to land unharmed. I couldn’t believe it, wow what an experience, I had to try it again. And with the creaminess of the cream cheese it was just all the better. So that’s kind of like these little gems, I know the words ghost chili scares a lot of you. Heck it even kind of makes me a little nervous but trust me when I say it’s not as spicy as you’d expect. Yes, there was a little heat I won’t lie but really it was all balanced out nicely by the sweet caramel and chocolate, add a little salt and it was a nice little warming you up down to your toes.

Next up in this exploration of the macabre was Mo’s Dark Bar from Vosges. This is where they add Bacon to the chocolate bar. Yes, you read that correctly there’s Bacon in there. We all know that Bacon makes everything truly better so why not chocolate as well. I’m fairly certain that if there is a heaven then in their farm they have genetically altered super-pigs that are the size of water buffalo providing strips the size of tube socks and magically regenerate their bacon giving properties overnight. It is truly one of life’s greatest pleasures, to eat a strip of nice warm bacon fresh from the pan.  I defy you to find something that brings so much joy from so little effort as bacon does to the masses of its loyal followers.  Ok, I’m getting off topic, picture #1 is how it looks in the wrapper just so if you want you can find it yourself.

This wonderful creation also comes in milk chocolate for those of you who find dark chocolate too rich for their taste buds. Once again this concept is not entirely new to me but one that I’ve always found particularly interesting. Not as strange as the contrast between heat and sweet this is more of a war of sugary versus salty. As I’ve said Bacon makes everything better and chocolate is no exception. At first you get the sweet smoothness of the chocolate and then you get a sharp turn to savory saltiness in the bacon.

Now you know how the bar looks when it’s out of the box. I strongly recommend this goodie for chocolate and Bacon lovers alike. Definitely an experience you won’t forget or regret I promise you.

Last stop on our excursion of the peculiar is something I couldn’t even begin to imagine in my wildest foodie imagination. Yes, even I haven’t tried this one, as I’m quite sure many of you haven’t either. If you have please let me know cause you and I need to go on a bizarre food safari sometime, as you and I obviously share a very similar interest in the bizarre.

I know what you’re thinking, because it’s probably the same thing I thought when I first saw this. I’m going to be a gentleman and not repeat it here but it probably starts with “What” and ends in ”The Hell is that?”  It does indeed say Ramen and I’m pretty sure many of you are like me and feasted on Ramen noodles growing up, almost to the point that you never want to see them again. But they’re just so delicious and cheap that for those of us on the budget of most college students Ramen is our best friend. It can be used multiple different ways, with combinations of other foods vast as our imaginations, but in chocolate I never would’ve thought to do.  

This was probably one of the strangest food stuffs I’ve ever eaten in my whole life. It starts off like any other chocolate bar that we’ve all had 100 times before. But just as soon as you’re getting used to the same old thing the ramen comes in full speed ahead with the salty oniony garlicky flavor. Talk about two different worlds colliding. This was just bizarre and almost too much so at first, I thought that I wasn’t going to like it and had made a bad mistake, and then all the sudden it mellowed out and I was pleasantly surprised with a wonderful after taste. It was so strange I couldn’t help but want to try another bite. Once again I was confronted with the same experience and I just wanted more. It almost reminds me of when you’re a kid and you roll around in the snow and then go jump in a hot tub. First you’re feeling one way and almost on the verge of agony and then Zing you’re suddenly feeling another completely different sensation that made the whole thing worth it and you find yourself doing it again and again.

Well crusaders that’s it for the first edition of appeteasers, once again I hope I have shown you that even if something looks different and may sound disturbing to you and your sensibilities that it can indeed be a wonderful experience. Never be afraid to try something new, just remember without wonderful accidents we wouldn’t have champagne, penicillin, or even our wonderful homeland of America.  Thanks for tuning in and until next time happy hunting and Bon appetite.

Indiana Joe